Saturday, December 1, 2012

Twilight: So fake I can't even fake my surprise.

Earlier during the week I went to see the final instalment of the Twilight movies: Breaking Dawn Part 2. I knew it was going to be rubbish but as I'd already seen the previous movies, I felt I had to see the rest. What a complete waste of time it was! So much fakeness to it.

1. Bella and Edward suck as parents
All they want to do is shag 24/7 and spend much of the time making out or pulling vacant expressions. They shed some light on having responsibility over the kid, but not much. All they want to do is have sex and stare at each other.

2. The whole thing was fake, fake, fake.
The film was heavily cgi'd and fake. It included a fake, cgi baby that had been cgi'd way too much that it didn't even look like a normal newborn. Maybe it's cos I knew it would be a cgi baby instead of a real one, but either way I was unimpressed.

2.5 More fakeness.
The twist they had at the end was a load of rubbish. This IS NOT CLEVER STORYTELLING. the fight scene was amazing and had me having emotions over characters dying even though I didn't really have any strong feelings towards them before. When the twist happened everyone in the cinema was all 'wtf?" So I guess it served it's 'shock factor' moment so they would have something to talk about but still I left feeling lied to and a bit dirty. During the fake fight scene they had ridiculous sound effects which resembled ripping off a Barbie dolls head.

3. It felt like a music fanvid.
This was mostly due to the memory montages scattered throughout it. They did this briefly in the others, but they really hammed it up this time. While they were good, if I knew that was all it was going to be I would've just spent 2 hours surfing through YouTube.


The one thing I really, really liked, was that Jacob got his kit off and made the whole thing worth it just to see those abs.

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